Show more

The Cuban headache machine is real but they stole it from the US where it's used in urban environments

Mastodon 2018 was the only time someone could make friendships while also sporting a heaving alcohol and work addiction

What if I just download idle games on my phone again?

My mom, two months ago: why did you buy several headphones?

Me, today having tested several types of headphones to see which one could drown out the dehumidifier and a toddler refusing to sleep in the other room currently: can't believe she doubted me

I am the only person who doesn't work at this very large very fancy Chinese restaurant

red potion (restores health)
blue potion (restores magicks)
green potion (cures horny)

:no: barefoot in the kitchen
:yes: barefoot in the den prepping various vegetables for canning and pickling

Damn, they really just let me walk around thicc as hell

The youngest and I are bonding over our shared love of food

"I'm want snack" huh weird me too let's go get a sandwich "hokay"

Show thread

I was busy at work, did the peanut man make it back down or is he stuck or what?

hey i got busy with work but if weekly height discourse is happening remember that i grow another inch every time we do this.

Show more
Happy to be Here

The social network of the future: No ads, no corporate surveillance, ethical design, and decentralization! Own your data with Mastodon!